In the first article Claudio posed a series of questions to encourage people to reflect on their leadership and the leadership of others, especially in relationship to how families are lead. He encouraged parents and children to engage in thoughtful, mutual discussion about how we communicate our values about leadership to each other.
This recent article encourages the parent or mentor to take the time to ask their children or mentees specific questions in order to stimulate discussion that enhances and deepens understanding, strengthen connections and relationships.
Though these articles focus on fathers and sons, they are equally applicable to mothers and daughters, or mentors and their mentees.
The post Curious Children published a couple of weeks ago generated quite a bit of interest. The post suggested that fathers should take time to answer some challenging questions posed to them by their children so that they could get to know them better, stimulate discussion, strengthen connection and enhance relationships.
Fathers it is your turn. Curious Fathers proposes some questions that you could ask your children. The intent again is to provide some suggestions on how you can intentionally invest in and connect. As Charles Swindoll writes, “ One may be creative; another practical. One may be out-going; another withdrawn. Whatever the case they’re all individuals. They were not created on the assembly line.” Each of your children are unique individuals with their own strengths and areas of interest. It would be helpful to get to know what they are interested in and what things they like to do.
They were not created on the assembly line. Charles Swindoll
So to help me take another step in furthering my connection with my own sons I took the time to do a little research and asked them to send me two or three questions that they would have wanted me to ask them as they were growing up. I also included a couple of questions my wife and I would have wanted our fathers to ask. The questions outlined here are for you to adapt as you wish. They can serve at least as a starting point for you and will undoubtedly branch off in different directions leading to further questions and hopefully informative conversations.
- What are some things we’d both like to do together that can help us connect?
- What is the best way for you to feel affirmed and understood?
- Do you feel unconditionally loved and supported by me?
- What are your dreams and how can I help you achieve them?
- What is your greatest fear, your deepest pain and your greatest joy?
- If I could be a “fly on the wall” when you are with your friends what is something new I would learn about you?
- If you could choose one adventure to go on what would that be?
I encourage you to take the time to be a curious father and would really enjoy hearing from you on how your conversations went. Start off the new year with a curious conversation.